The Kind of Friends We Used to Be by Frances O’Roark Dowell

The Kind of Friends We Used to Be is one of those quiet, unassuming books that is constantly circulating in my classroom library. It is the sequel to The Secret Language of Girls, but it’s one of those sequels you can pick up and fall right into the story even without readind the first book.

Kate and Marylin were best friends, until they grew apart and had a falling out in 6th grade. Now in 7th grade, Marylin’s a middle school cheerleader on the bring of popularity and Kate is the artist, writing songs, playing guitar, and wearing combat boots around school. The two former best friends aren’t quite sure what they are now; they aren’t all-the-time best friends but they also don’t want to completely abandon each other.

As I mentioned earlier, this is a quiet book, the best kind of realistic fiction in the eyes of many of my girls.  There is no huge fight, no major drama, no over-the-topness in this book.  Instead, Marylin and Kate are slowly figuring out their place in middle school while also determining who they want to be as they grow up.  I identified with both characters because they just seemed so real.  Marylin isn’t some caricature of middle school popularity- she is a girl who wants to be popular but also realizes the pitfalls of that popularity.  Kate isn’t some crazy rebel- she is a quiet girl unsure of her writing talent and aware that popularity isn’t for her.

Both girls also have family issues and they are beginning to grapple with boys.  They find themselves at times drawn to the familiarity of their friendship with each other while at other times sure they are not longer meant to be friends.  I really enjoyed this book and as I read at (during reading workshop), many of my girls commented about their love for it, too.  It definitely resonates with my 6th graders!

*My own purchased copy.  This is a Cybils nominee but all opinions are my own and do not reflect those of the panel.

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